out of a fog

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my life has been fairly stressful lately.  I’m not sure I’ve been coping well with it.  Actually, I don’t know if I’ve been coping at all.  More like trying to ignore my feelings and shove them into the closet with all my unfinished projects.  By Sunday, I may have stuffed that closet past capacity because everything came crashing down in an emotional avalanche.  For three days I couldn’t focus.  I was so down and absolutely did not want to do anything.  With anyone.  I didn’t leave the house.  I just wanted to be alone.

With my head in a fog, I ended up knitting away for hours on end.  Losing time.  But making great progress on my West Coast Cardigan.

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Imagine: finishing an entire sweater in only one week.  I think it’s very possible.  That’s the beauty of this huge gauge.  It’s not a typical needle size for me, though.  The first few rows were incredibly awkward; I was fumbling with these giant sausage needles in my hands like baby’s first knit stitch.  Now only four days into it, and I’m just about ready to cast off the body.  Which left me with one little problem… Because I never use needles this big, I didn’t have any size 13 (9 mm) DPNs!  Not that I need an excuse to hit up a yarn shop, but this little predicament gave me no choice.

Cory is away this week at a conference in Niagara, which leaves me sans vehicle until Friday.  I could have taken the bus to the yarn shop, but with the temperature approaching double digits (that’s centigrade, American friends), why not take advantage and enjoy a nice long walk?  Emphasis on long.  The trek is a good ten kilometres round-trip.  But I figured it was just what I needed to clear my head.  To centre myself.  So I showered.  I did my hair.  Put on some makeup.  Put on some real pants for the first time in a long time.  Proudly donned my Millisande sweater (I always feel the need to show off my latest FOs when I go to a yarn shop).  And I stepped outside into the….fog.

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The mist hung thick over the city today.  Like the Earth was mimicking my mood.  Rather than get sucked in though, I found it purifying.  I needed that long walk to re-focus my thoughts.  To be exposed to a world outside my own head after keeping myself cooped up in the house for days.  It worked.  I found so much clarity despite the lack of visibility.  Now the fog has lifted, and I’m ready to move forward.

 

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